Ahhhh, Memories....

A person soon learns how little he knows when a child begins to ask questions.~~Richard L. Evans

On the way home from dinner last night, Rachel asked Jeff and I, "How do police know if a car is speeding?" Jeff and I then proceeded to explain the concept of a radar gun and how it shows the speed a vehicle is traveling. Then Anna jumps in with every silly question that a 5-year-old can think of just to be part of the conversation..."Is there anyone speeding right now?" Jeff's reply: "Oh, I'm sure there is someone speeding some where." "Are you speeding right now Daddy?" Jeff replied, "No, Anna, I am not." Anna retorted, "But you were caught speeding before..." Jeff sighed and in a calm but resigned voice he replied with a smile, "Well, yes, and thank you for reminding me." I, of course, was snickering in the passenger seat and thankful it wasn't me that just got bested by a five year old.

See, a year or so ago, Jeff was pulled over for speeding. And, the girls were in the vehicle with us when it happened. Kids are always good at remembering our mistakes ( so they usually remind Jeff of this at least once or twice a year. :-) Now, if I could just get them to apply that great memory to remembering to hang up their coat and bookbag instead of throwing them on the floor, I'll call my life a success.

The kids also remember that the reason Jeff was speeding that night that he got the ticket and it was because of their whining, fighting and complaining was in high gear making even the most patient of people feel like running and screaming into the night. He let it get to him. Jeff just wanted to get home and get out of our jeep away from the insanity. The kids were going at it.....you know..."She touching me." "She's looking at me." "She's making annoying noises." And, they were getting louder and louder. The only resolution we've found to date is simply to tell them both they aren't allowed to speak (and you must also add "no singing, humming, whistling, thumping the door, etc. " and any other item specifically telling them no sound) until we get to our destination.

We stopped at Walmart before returning home and while shopping I overheard a Mom tell her children, "Could you PLEASE stop talking?" And, I heard myself saying the very same thing at dinner earlier in the evening. Both girls never stop talking but Anna wins the prize as of late. She'll jabber on and on about nothing, anything....she just never shuts up! My Mom used to have a saying about people who talk a lot, "if you were to tape their mouth shut, they would fart themselves to death." Well, that's Anna. I remember when our children were infants. Like other parents, we were absolutely thrilled when they said their first word. We worked so hard at helping them learn to communicate. We even taught our daughters some basic sign language as infants so they could communicate before they were able to verbally. But, now, oh what we would give for just small pockets of peace and quiet. It is constant chatter from the time they wake up until they go to sleep and it usually ends up with some discussion on poo poo and pee pee (because there simply isn't anything funnier to children, and grown men, than bodily functions).

When they bring their petty squabbles to me and punishment is warranted, I discipline them both simply because I'm not going to spend all day playing judge and jury trying to figure out who started it...you simply can't apply sanity where there is none. As Bill Cosby once said, "Parents aren't interested in justice - they want QUIET!" And, by the way, if you're a parent and you've never seen Bill Cosby: Himself, it is a must see video.

Now, it's time to go wake up the little ones. I'm sure they are well rested and ready to begin the day with lots of great conversation on poop and pee. :-)