Angela vs. The Cat

I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food, which they take for granted - but his or her entertainment value~~Geoffrey Household

I am one of those people who need quiet or a steady white noise to go to sleep at night. I will focus on noises, no matter how miniscule. For example, if the ceiling fan develops a strange ticking sound I will focus on that and be unable to fall asleep.

Our cat is the "ticking fan" of my existence. Most nights, he jumps on our bed and the "sluuurrpping" begins as he preens himself. Jeff and I call it the "lick-a-thon." As you can imagine, it drives me insane. Now, tell me why when he has all day long and a 2,000 square foot house to do it in does he have to wait until bed time and do it on our bed in our bedroom?

So, after a few minutes I booted him off the bed. From there he continued the lick-a-thon on the floor which stopped only long enough for him to go underneath our bed and find some packaging that I store there. It made a nice crunching sound, right under my headboard.

By this time, I was ready to kill the cat because after a long day, all I wanted was to go to sleep. So, I got out of bed and went to the kitchen to find the spray water bottle....our tool for combatting unwanted cat behavior. But, before I made it to the bedroom, he had crawled out from under my bed and was sitting on the floor looking at me. Damn this cat! Now, he had robbed me of the pleasure of causing him at least some minor discomfort after he had continually disturbed my ability to go to sleep.

Of course, Jeff, not missing a beat suggested, "Why don't you spray him anyway? If it will make you feel better?" So, I did. I sprayed water once and I did feel better (at the cat, not Jeff). At that point, the cat fled the room and I got back into bed feeling like I had been vindicated.

But, the peace didn't last long. It was only a matter of minutes before our cat was back in the room with the lick-a-thon going strong.....see, he HAD to remove the water I had sprayed him with. How's that for bitter justice? And, what better place to remove the sprayed water on his fur in our 2,000 square foot home than right at the foot of our bed where he can be close to the people he loves?

Score: Cat 1, Angela 0